


nala protection squad

by victor_create



Category: The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: (yes thats a plot point), Crack, F/M, Group Chat Fic, Just a fun time, M/M, arnold can't spell, takes off right after the musical ends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-29
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:07:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22463089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/victor_create/pseuds/victor_create
Summary: -Arnold Cunningham has created a new group chat-Kevin Price: Arn. What is this?Arnold Cunningham: a way 2 talk bout mission stuff :-)
Relationships: Arnold Cunningham/Nabulungi Hatimbi, Elder "Connor" McKinley/Kevin Price
Comments: 3
Kudos: 22





	nala protection squad

1:07 pm

**new group chat (Arnold Cunningham, Kevin Price, Nabulungi Hatimbi, Connor McKinley, Chris Thomas, James Church)**

_Arnold Cunningham changed their name to holy prophet man_

Kevin Price: Arn. What is this?

holy prophet man: a way 2 talk bout mission stuff :-)

Connor McKinley: …Nabulungi doesn’t have a phone

Nabulungi Hatimbi: yes i do :D i picked it up from the market a few days ago!

Connor McKinley: I stand corrected

_holy prophet man changed Nabulungi Hatimbi’s name to nikki minaj_

nikki minaj: haha…who’s nikki minaj?

holy prophet man: shes a god :’-0

James Church: Arnold, would it kill you to use correct grammar?

holy prophet man: yes :-)

_holy prophet man changed James Church’s name to boring :-[_

_boring :-[ changed their name to Boring_

Boring: Fine. But what I lack in effervescence I make up for in not putting noses on my emojis.

nikki minaj: what’s wrong with making the faces have noses :-/

Boring: Everything is wrong with putting noses on emojis.

Connor McKinley: >:-)

Kevin Price: >:-D

Chris Thomas: …

Boring: Don’t do it, Chris.

Chris Thomas: …

Boring: Chris, I’m warning you.

Chris Thomas: >:-]

Boring: Nooooo!!!!

Kevin Price: Wait, why aren’t y’all doing…your _jobs_?

Boring: Y’all?

holy prophet man: y’all

_Connor McKinley changed Kevin Price’s name to Brokeback Mountain_

Brokeback Mountain: Oh come on!

holy prophet man: no1s safe >:-)

Connor McKinley: Mm

Chris Thomas: Oop

_Boring changed Chris Thomas’s name to Pastry Pal_

_Brokeback Mountain changed Connor McKinley’s name to Elder McKill Me_

Elder McKill Me: I feel like I deserved that-

Pastry Pal: Ditto

nikki minaj: haha! ditto

_holy prophet man changed group chat name to nala protection squad_

Brokeback Mountain: This is all really cute but, again,,, why aren’t *you all* doing your jobs?!

Brokeback Mountain: Because if I’m out here getting heatstroke while you guys live it up in the shade- I’m gonna be hella pissed

nikki minaj: haha…

Boring: Haha…

holy prophet man: haha…

Brokeback Mountain: DO YOUR JOBS!!!

11:53 pm

**_nala protection squad_ **

Elder McKill Me: Is anybody awake?

11:54 am

**_(private message) - Keaven and Con(cern)_ **

Keaven: Why’re you up this late?

Con(cern): I had another hell dream

Con(cern): Why’re _you_ up this late?

Keaven: Arnold snores.

Con(cern): THAT’S WHAT THAT NOISE IS?! I CAN HEAR THAT FROM DOWNSTAIRS!

Keaven: Yeah, imagine having to sleep next to him!

Keaven: Wait- why are you downstairs?

Con(cern): Didn’t wanna wake Chris up

Con(cern): Wanna come down?

Keaven: Already on my way :) do you want a blanket or something

Con(cern): Can you grab me a pillow?

Keaven: Sure thing

1:18 am

**_(private message) - Cunningham and McKinley_ **

Cunningham: hay do u know were kev is

McKinley: He’s downstairs with me

McKinley: Go back to sleep

1:20 am

**new group chat (Arnold Cunningham, Nabulungi Hatimbi, Chris Thomas, James Church)**

_Arnold Cunningham changed their name to investigator_

investigator: guys!

investigator: guys!

investigator: guys!

investigator: guys!

James Church: WHAT?!

investigator: guys!

investigator: oh soz lolol

Chris Thomas: Why’d you wake us up?

investigator: okie u all know that connor couldnt sleep last night

James Church: Yeah, he often doesn’t sleep. What about it?

investigator: IM GETTING TO THAT

investigator: so i wake up + c that kevin isnt in bed + im like huh weird. 

investigator: so i text con asking were he is and cons like hes downstairs w/ me

_investigator sent a screenshot_

Nabulungi Hatimbi: awww <3

Nabulungi Hatimbi: those two are cute together

investigator: but i know theyll never get 2gether :’-(

Nabulungi Hatimbi: how do you know that

investigator: cuz i KNOW them.

Chris Thomas: Yeah, that’s valid

James Church: What do you want us to do about it though? Play matchmaker?

investigator: exactly :-)

James Church: Why did I even ask?

investigator: cmon! theyll never get 2gether if we dont do anything

Chris Thomas: I actually agree with Arnold on this

Nabulungi Hatimbi: ditto!

investigator: HECK YE :-D

James Church: I don’t want to poke around in other people’s business.

Chris Thomas: C’mon, what’s the worst that could happen?

James Church: _So_ much could happen. I’m not doing it.

investigator: fine. but we still r >:-)

_investigator changed group chat name to matchmakers_

investigator: if we wanna get them 2gether were gonna need a plan

Chris Thomas: Can we maybe do the plan later? It’s 1 in the morning :/

investigator: fine fine

10:28 am

**_nala protection squad_ **

Elder McKill Me: Nabulungi, I was wondering if you would be free later today? I need help planning something

nikki minaj: i’m always free, elder

Brokeback Mountain: Can I help?

holy prophet man: but we were gonna do stuff 2day :’-(

Brokeback Mountain: Can I _please_ help?

Elder McKill Me: Sure, Kevin. But make sure to tell Arnold not to do anything dangerous

holy prophet man: im in the chat!!!

Brokeback Mountain: Arnold, don’t do anything dangerous

holy prophet man: i can read!!!

Boring: Didn’t think you could considering how atrocious your spelling is.

holy prophet man: HAY!!!

Pastry Pal: *hey

holy prophet man: im being bullyed :’-(

Boring: *bullied

_holy prophet man has left the chat_

Pastry Pal: F

nikki minaj: elder mckinley, when and where will we be meeting

Elder McKill Me: You and Kevin can meet me at Kimbay’s place around 5

Elder McKill Me: Oh, I forgot to mention Kimbay’s helping too :)

Brokeback Mountain: :)

10:43 am

**_matchmakers_ **

James Church: Ok, so about that plan?

investigator: so now u wanna help

James Church: Their oblivious pining is insufferable.

James Church: I want them to get together so they’ll stop.

investigator: i new youd come around :-D

investigator: can some1 ad me back 2 the chat tho

5:03 pm

**nala protection squad**

Brokeback Mountain: Uhhhh- where are you guys?

nikki minaj: elder mckinley is at kalimba’s house :)

Elder McKill Me: I’m just getting supplies

Elder McKill Me: We’ll meet at Kimbay’s house in 5

_Boring added holy prophet man to the chat_

holy prophet man: wow

holy prophet man: u guys r boring :-/

Brokeback Mountain: You said this was “a way 2 talk bout mission stuff”

holy prophet man: yea but i didnt actualy think youd do that >:-(

Elder McKill Me: I’m almost at Kimbay’s house. I’ll see you guys there.

holy prophet man: ughhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

5:14 pm

**_matchmakers_ **

investigator: ok boyz,,,

investigator: we mATCHMAKIN 2DAY!!!

Chris Thomas: What’s the plan -o-

investigator: uhh :-| i um didnt get that far

James Church: You’re kidding, right?

investigator: uh hehe ofc im kidding,,

Nabulungi Hatimbi: what if we trick them into confronting each other?

Nabulungi Hatimbi: we can text them as the other person about how they feel!

Chris Thomas: Yeah! I know Connor’s password, I could do that easily

investigator: i coud get kevs phone

Nabulungi Hatimbi: so it’s a plan :D

Chris Thomas: We’ll start the plan tomorrow!

investigator: :-D

7:32 pm

**new group chat (Connor McKinley, Kevin Price, Nabulungi Hatimbi)**

Connor McKinley: Nabulungi, what is the “matchmakers” group chat?

Nabulungi Hatimbi: …i don’t know what you’re talking about

Kevin Price: We saw it on your lock screen

Nabulungi Hatimbi: :(

Connor McKinley: Nabulungi.

Kevin Price: Naba

Nabulungi Hatimbi: ask arnold, he’s the one who made it :(

7:36 pm

**_(private message) - Cunningham and McKinley_ **

McKinley: Elder Cunningham. What is the “matchmakers” group chat?

Cunningham: um i dunno wot ur talking about

McKinley: Oh em gosh, Arnold. Just answer the question

Cunningham: c thats really funny cuz i actualy got hacked-

Cunningham: so idk wot gc ur talking bout

McKinley: …

McKinley: Arnold, I’m not stupid

McKinley: But, you know what? I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt

Cunningham: :-)

McKinley: BUT! When I figure out what this chat is, you’re gonna be in a lot of trouble

Cunningham: heh… :-)

7:44 pm

**_matchmakers_ **

investigator: AAA WE R IN DANGER!!!

Nabulungi Hatimbi: :( sorry, they saw my lock screen

investigator: its ok nitrogen :-) but we need 2 b careful

James Church: Why are we in danger? What did they say?

investigator: ahem ‘arn im not stupid but im tired BUT ill kill u when i find out wot this gc is’

James Church: Wow, I somehow have more questions now.

Chris Thomas: Yeah same -_-

investigator: HES GONNA FUCKIGN KILL ME!!!!!!!!!

James Church: Wouldn’t blame him.

investigator: whos side r u on :-(

Chris Thomas: It’s ok, Arnold. James just likes watching the world burn :D

James Church: That’s true.

investigator: D-‘:

Chris Thomas: C’mon, we’ll just wait a bit longer before putting the plan into action

Chris Thomas: We’ll be fine :)

**Author's Note:**

> I hope ya'll liked the first chapter :D! If anyone has any suggestions please leave them in the comments :)


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